Chafing at the bit

So, getting closer all the time! 40 days!!! We still have not purchased our plane tickets, not until we have 100% of our monthly support raised and we are at about 65% and we really, really want to make it by March 13th! So we are pushing really hard. As of the middle of last week Beckie and I live together now. It is a good thing, we are going through the stuff we want to pack, sorting and making piles. Kind of like all of my life now, sorting and making piles- figuring out what is essential for life in Uganda, packing up other things to put in the attic to be stored here, boxing up stuff for my parents basement to come at a later date and trashing or giving away the rest. It seems like practically everything I do revolves around preparing to go or fundraising. I guess that is the way that it is supposed to be but I'm ready to be done with this part. Once again I'm chafing at the bit. I look back over the past 10 years (sorting through piles of old journals!) and it seems I've done that a lot. Over and over I tell the Lord I don't like it. I would rather be determining the speed and direction. I don't really want this bridle, the chafing. But then I look back and see this path. I'm reminded that God sees the big picture. And I want more than anything to be on the path that He wants me on. So I settle down again. I know that right now this is what I'm suppose to be doing and where I'm supposed to be doing it.

Update

Time for another update....
At this point Beckie and I are still on track to leave March 13th- 48 days!!! Fundraising continues to go well. I'm at 62% right now...It is so encouraging as I have opportunities to bring more and more people onto my support team. (Side note: If you are reading this and I haven't invited you to be on my support team- shame on me!  This is a great opportunity to join God in the work he is doing in Uganda. If you are interested please let me know.) 
I'm working a little more out at UC. I think I post that every time and now I'm back at full time (plus "overtime" this week!).  I love it and am glad there are hours that I can pick up but I'm feeling a little guilty. It is hard to keep fundraising as my primary responsibility when I'm at work so much.

Evil

As I talk to people about the variety of problems in Uganda- hunger, orphans, HIV, war, abused children, war, the list could go on and on- occasionally people make comments refering to why God would do this to Africa.  That implies that God is not loving.  Here is a story with a good rebuke.

A University professor challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"
A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!"
"God created everything?" The professor asked.
"Yes sir, he certainly did," the student replied.
 The professor answered, "If God created everything; then God created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."
 The student became quiet and did not respond to the professor's hypothetical definition.. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.
Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question,professor?"
"Of course", replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"
"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"
The other students snickered at the young man's question.The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."
The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"
The professor responded, "Of course it does."
The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present.
 Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."
Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"
Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light." The professor sat down.

Update

I'm so excited!  I just spent the last hour sitting here running the numbers- I have 50% of my monthly needs met!  People have comitted to supporting me monthly to the tune of $1,155!  Beckie and I are planning on leaving in 8 weeks. So I'm still looking for roughly 40 people to support at $30/month (or more). Only  55 days from now....

Thinking about prayer...

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go.                 -Abraham Lincoln

You may "pray" for an hour and still not pray. You may meet God for a moment and then be in touch with Him all day                       -Fredrik Wisloff

Dirty Water

Jeremiah 2:13 "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water."

This verse really struck me today. Who, when they are thirsty, would chose a broken cistern of dirty collected rain water over a sparkling spring of fresh water?!

But I do. Every day. My Jesus offers fresh water to quench my thirst. Instead I chose dirty water to try to fill the hole in my life. This world offers me things that kind of look good- entertainment, comfort, etc. But these things are as dirty water to sate my thirst compared to the sparkling, never ending stream that Jesus offers!

Follow up to last post

TWhile talking to a friend about that last post I feel like I need to add that I'm not really discouraged. Because this time is hard, I'm learning to really lean into God and trust that he will provide.  If it were easy I wouldn't be learning and leaning nearly as much. So it is good.

And I realized that some don't known who Clememtine is. She is the very high energy puppy who I spend most of my day with. It give me a great excuse to take long walks in the woods.

Perspective

A new year, I was thinking about perspective today. I was in the woods with Clementine. I biked through these woods several times a week all summer. They look very different when they are thick and green. Today, same woods, but frozen, cold, sparse. And then, with a soaking wet, nearly frozen 22 pound puppy over a shoulder it seemed very different. Same woods. Same trees. Same place. Just a different season. I’m in a place in life right now like that. A different season.

I Corinthians 1:25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
I would be planning my life differently right now if I were not doing what God is calling me to. I'm learning to seeking hard after Him in a way that I never have before. And I'm learning so much and I wish I could easily share all that He is teaching.  I honestly don't really like this season. But God sees a perspective that I don't see. I'm trusting and learning.